We are our stories

You are not defined by your job titles

By Nahrizul Adib Kadri 

A few years ago, I attended a reunion of my primary school with some old friends. As we caught up, I noticed something interesting: almost every conversation began with the same question. “So, buat apa sekarang (what do you do)?” It was as if our jobs had become the default way to define ourselves, the shorthand for who we were. 

At first, of course it seemed harmless. But as the evening went on, I couldn’t help but wonder: Aren’t we not more than our job titles? What happens when the work we do becomes the only story we tell about ourselves? 

You see, the truth is, tying our identity solely to our careers is a risky game. It’s like building a house on a single pillar—impressive at first glance, but dangerously unstable. When our sense of self is rooted in external achievements, we become vulnerable to the inevitable ups and downs of professional life. A promotion can feel like validation, while a setback can feel like failure.

And when retirement or redundancy comes along, it can feel like losing a part of ourselves. 

Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor, once wrote, “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” His words remind us that our true worth isn’t determined by our job title, salary, or position on the corporate ladder. It’s found in the way we think, the values we hold, and the relationships we nurture. 

This isn’t just about finding balance; it’s about reclaiming our humanity. We are multifaceted beings, shaped by our experiences, interests, and relationships. Yet, in a world that often reduces us to our roles—engineer, teacher, manager, student—it’s easy to forget that. 

Think about it: When was the last time you introduced yourself without mentioning your job? When was the last time you pursued a hobby simply because it brought you joy, not because it added a line to your résumé? These small acts of self-discovery are reminders that we are more than what we do for a living. 

Consider the life of Leonardo da Vinci. While he’s best known as an artist, he was also a scientist, inventor, and philosopher. His curiosity knew no bounds, and his legacy is a testament to the power of embracing multiple passions. Da Vinci didn’t define himself by a single title; he defined himself by his endless pursuit of knowledge and creativity. 

Of course, this isn’t to say that our careers don’t matter. They do. Work can be a source of purpose, growth, and fulfilment. But it shouldn’t be the only source. When we diversify our sense of self—when we see ourselves as parents, friends, artists, learners, and dreamers—we build a stronger, more resilient identity. 

So, how can we start untangling our self-worth from our job titles? Begin by reflecting on the aspects of your identity that exist beyond your professional life. What are the things that make you, you? Maybe it’s your love of cooking, your ability to make people laugh, or your dedication to a cause you care about. These are the threads that weave the tapestry of your life, and they deserve just as much attention as your career. 

Here’s a simple exercise: Write down five things that define you outside of work. They can be roles, hobbies, values, or even quirks. Keep this list somewhere visible, and revisit it whenever you feel your identity narrowing to a single dimension. 

As Rumi once wrote, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” You are not your job title. You are a mosaic of experiences, passions, and relationships. You are a storyteller, a dreamer, a creator. You are more than what you do—you are who you are. 

So, the next time someone asks, “What do you do?” try answering with something unexpected. Share a hobby, a dream, or a value that defines you. You might just inspire them to see themselves in a new light, too. Because in the end, life isn’t about the titles we hold.

It’s about the stories we live. 

Ir Dr Nahrizul Adib Kadri is a professor of biomedical engineering and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at nahrizuladib@um.edu.my