By: Hazreena Hussein
Our home is a humble symbol of tradition and togetherness in the bustling city of Kuala Lumpur, where skyscrapers typically pierce the sky and life races ahead. In an era where independence often precedes interdependence, my family and I have chosen a less travelled path: living together across generations. Sharing a home with my parents, siblings, and immediate family members since 2018 has strengthened our bonds and enriched our lives in countless ways.
Our family home is a microcosm of life, brimming with laughter, occasional disagreements, and shared moments of joy. Each generation brings its unique flavour to the mix. My parents, the anchors of the family, offer wisdom and guidance, often regaling us with stories from their past. My siblings and I contribute to the hustle and bustle of daily life, balancing careers and family responsibilities, while the younger generation—my nieces and nephews—inject boundless energy, curiosity, and a fresh perspective into our lives.
Life in Kuala Lumpur can be demanding, with its relentless traffic jams and work deadlines, but having family close by provides an invaluable safety net. Whether it’s my mother’s comforting meals after a long day or my siblings stepping in to help with childcare, there’s always someone to lean on. Unlike many modern households where family members barely cross paths, our daily interactions foster deeper connections. Simple moments like shared dinners, weekend outings, or gathering around the television become precious opportunities to strengthen our relationships.
The benefits of our living arrangement extend to every family member. For my nieces and nephews, growing up in a multigenerational home offers an enriching environment where they’re exposed to diverse perspectives, from their grandparents’ old-school wisdom to their aunts and uncles’ tech-savvy insights. This nurtures their adaptability and deepens their understanding of family values. Living together also makes practical sense in an expensive city like Kuala Lumpur – shared expenses reduce individual burdens, and having multiple adults means household tasks can be divided more efficiently.
Perhaps the greatest gift of our living arrangement is the emotional security it provides. There’s profound comfort in knowing you’re never alone, whether you’re celebrating milestones or navigating life’s challenges. Of course, living with multiple generations isn’t without its hurdles. Differences in opinions, lifestyles, and routines can sometimes lead to conflict – my parents’ traditional approach occasionally clashes with the younger generation’s modern outlook, and sharing common spaces can spark minor disagreements. But we’ve learned that open communication and mutual respect are key to harmony. Regular family meetings help us address issues before they escalate, and we’re careful to respect each other’s privacy by maintaining designated personal spaces.
Our home has become a vibrant sanctuary of heritage and continuity, where cultural traditions thrive and pass naturally from one generation to the next. From celebrating Hari Raya with grandeur to teaching traditional recipes, we embody the “gotong-royong” spirit – the Malay ethos of cooperation. This spirit of togetherness extends beyond our immediate family to embrace friends and neighbours, creating a warm community within our urban setting.
As I look to the future, I see our multigenerational home as more than just a living arrangement – it’s a powerful reminder of what matters most in life. In our fast-paced world, where technology often substitutes for human connection, our home stands as testament to the irreplaceable value of face-to-face interactions and shared experiences. Through the daily dance of compromise, care, and celebration, we’re not just preserving a traditional way of life; we’re creating a blueprint for future generations about the profound richness that comes from choosing connection over convenience.
Our story shows that while the path of multigenerational living may not always be the easiest choice in modern times, it offers rewards that far outweigh its challenges – rewards that ripple through generations, strengthening not just our family, but our community and culture as a whole.
The author is an associate professor of architecture at the Faculty of Built Environment, Universiti Malaya. She may be reached at reenalambina@um.edu.my
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